Lesson 13- Never Be So Desperate to Make a Sale That You Lose Focus of the Objective (A Customer for Life)

Once while working at a charity event to help raise money, I helped a friend out by selling t-shirts for the benefit. I’ve never really seen myself as much of a sales person, but since I really believed in their product and the charity, I figured it should not be too difficult. For years of working in Accounts Receivable, and Collections, I knew the best way to attract people to your product was to build rapport, so anyone that stopped by my table I immediately struck up a conversation with them.

I looked for something in each person that I could connect with. For one woman it was a unique pair of airplane earrings (I’m an incredible fan of earrings and airplanes; so this woman’s earrings really got my attention).  We talked for a while and I found out that she made them.  This instantly brought our conversation to our shared interest in jewelry making. This turns out to be one of my hobbies for years.  I carried on for hours meeting and greeting many wonderful people, but not really making too many sales.

Then some two hours later a young woman walked over really looking over our merchandise carefully. I diligently kept my distance as I did not want her thinking that I was pushing her or crowding her. I simply let her know if she needs any help of any sort, I’d be available. When it looked like she was going to leave, I asked if anything in particular looked interesting. She told me that she really liked a bunch of the t-shirts, but the one all the vendors at the tables were wearing was the one she liked the best. She asked me if I’d be willing to sell my shirt and then she would buy one of the other shirts we had for sale.

I should mention that for this charity event, the company I was working with was the one who made all the t-shirts for the volunteers & vendors at this affair. I thought the tees were a pretty nifty ad for this charity, and I could see why this customer really wanted one.  The charity organizers arranged so that all the volunteers and vendors who worked at this function were given this t-shirt for free when they showed up that morning to work (the shirt served as both a uniform and ad all in one). 

In my haste to not lose that sale, I gave the woman my volunteer t-shirt and sold her another product from our table for a total of $30.00. I was ecstatic at my sale, when I heard a volunteer a couple tables down talking to another vendor. He mentioned to that other vendor what he saw me do, and advised the vendor: “watch out for that one, she’s shady.”

I was appalled, in an instant I had ruined my reputation and that of the company I was representing, all for the sale of $30.00. I realized that I lost way more than I had gained.  I had lost sight, that to acquire a quick sale today; I had perhaps cost this company many future sales. However more disturbing was the trust and the respect lost in that quick sale.

It was then that I understood that it is better to make a customer for life than an immediate sale now. 

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Lesson 12 –Make Yourself Indispensable at Work

In this day and age when jobs are scarce, probably the most important thing you can do to protect your employment is to make yourself indispensable. I learned this lesson long ago. Growing up with two parents that had a very strong work ethic, is most likely what instilled this lesson in me so early.  One of my earliest jobs was working with a small fashion company.

 During the interview, the CFO informed me that the company had just recently entered the computer age, and their account department was now all learning to use computers and a new accounting software program for the first time. He asked if I had any knowledge of computers. Well, I completely lied as I really needed the job. I did get the job a couple days later and for a little more money than I had asked for.  I then made it a point to learn everything I could about computers and in particular the software program that the CFO had mentioned during our interview.

I devoured every manual and book I could find on the subject, and when I started working with this new company, I stayed late each evening, as I studied the workings of my specific department.  Within 6 months of working with this new company I became the expert on their accounting software. Every new hire was sent to me for a couple days of training (including the new computer technician that was also just hired).

The reason I mention all this, is not to simply sing my praises on what a marvelous employee I’m, but to make a point.  Some 6 months after I had started with this new company, they went through a tough patch financially, and were forced to fire more than half their present staff at the time. Some whom had been with the company for more than 20 years and were close to retirement were given a package to retire early. Many others were simply let go. I was quite shocked at first, when I was not one of the personnel fired. I now know why, I had made myself indispensable. I had something this company really needed; a skill set for which at the time I was the only one within the company with this expertise and crucial knowledge.

The lesson being, always make yourself indispensable at work, and keep learning new things, new skills, and new knowledge, no matter what rank you reach in your present employment.

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Lesson 11- Tell the Truth 1st to Yourself

We’ve all be taught lying is bad, and we should not do it. However, we would all be lying if we said all of us have not, at one time or another, lied to get out of a sticky situation, by telling a friend what he or she wants to hear, to make them feel better, or telling a white lie to spare someone’s feelings. We may even fudge the truth to not deal with some uncomfortable feelings ourselves.

What I’ve come to realize about all lying for the most part, is we first lie to ourselves. To make it okay for us to lie, we rationalize to ourselves how the particular lie is either necessary, or if we tell ourselves a really good story, we actually convince ourselves our lie is actually the truth.

This last bit I can clearly relate to. For some many years, I’ve had trouble with my spending tendencies, and had finally after many years of friends trying to bring the problem to my attention; I finally faced facts I was indeed a shopaholic. For more years than I can remember, if I had a bad day, or felt under the weather I’d self gratify by buying a little something. Depending on my finances at the time, it may be as little as a hair trinket, to several new outfits.

What was clearly the same each time, how I convinced myself, I absolutely needed whatever it was I was buying, as if my very life depended on me buying this thing. I would thoroughly convince myself into this lie, there was little anyone could do at the time to persuade me otherwise.

These specific lies, with regards to my spending habits, finally came crashing down on me some two years back. When my on-again off-again boyfriend and I had broken up for the second time, my life and my spending went into a downward spiral. I had so completely wrapped myself in this relationship, and basically made it the center of my universe. When it ended, I did what I always did when I was depressed, I went on a shopping spree; actually I went on several shopping sprees till I nearly maxed out every credit card I owned.

It started with me saying, "I just need to spruce things up a bit in my apartment and make the space more ‘me’". So I started with buying a new couch, and chair, which in turn ended up being all new furniture, new silverware, new flatware, new clothes, new curtains (3 new shower curtains to be exact), new toilet seat, new carpet (bathroom and living room), new sheets, and towels, you name it, I got rid of the old and got new ones.

Some of my friends actually went along with my lie at the time, and said it was healthy I was getting rid of all stuff  I shared with my ex-boyfriend, but some 6 months later the truth came crashing in. My two oldest and dearest friends said they needed to talk. When they first approached me and said they believed I had a problem with my spending, I was of course totally skeptical. Until they talked me into going over all my credit card and bill statements with them, and itemized everything onto a spreadsheet. I was firmly sure my debt at the time was no more than 12K max. When all was said and done, the full total after our plugging the numbers was 26 thousand in debt, I nearly fainted.

I could not believe I would be in this much debt and not know it. I’ve since come to terms with my weakness for spending and shopping, and have made a point to stay clear of any shopping or clothing stores when I’m feeling down. I cut up all my credit cards two years ago, and have focused on paying off this debt. My biggest lesson in all of this was how easy it is for all of us to lie first to ourselves when faced with a problem we do not want to accept or acknowledge.

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Lesson 10 –Trust with Prudence

While living in Manhattan I had decided to take on a close friend as a roommate in hopes of saving some money. While this person wasn’t the closest of my friends, we had known each other for years and I anticipated no problems with us living together.  The first two years living together went quite smoothly.  We both respected each other’s space, and seemed to live harmoniously together; until my move to Puerto Rico. 

You may remember from a couple of lessons back, my plan to study and live in a Spanish speaking couture for minimum of one year. I choose to move to Puerto Rico.

My friend had been extremely supportive of my plans to move to P.R. for the year to study and live a life submerged in the Spanish culture.  She advised that she would hold down the fort here in NY while I tried out things in P.R.  She convinced me, that a friend of hers that was moving to the States from abroad could room with her in my apartment, and pay my half of the rent. She surmised that this would save me even more money toward my move, and that if all did not work out in Puerto Rico, I could just come back to NY. 

I was completely grateful for all my friend’s support and help.  So as the move got closer, I worked on sorting out all the last minute details here.  On the day of the move my friend came with me to the airport and saw me off, assuring me she would take care of all business here (including caring for my cat, and paying all bills). 
After a couple weeks on the Island, and having set myself up in a nice apartment in the San Juan area, I received a rather disturbing call one afternoon from the landlord of my Manhattan apartment.  She informed me that about two weeks prior she had received a call and a letter from my roommate informing her that I had vacated the apartment. My roommate went on to say that she is now the new tenant of the apartment, and demanded that my landlord, send her a new lease in her name. 

I was completely shocked. My landlord went on to say that my friend had been trashing the apartment, and had had loud noisy parties on several occasions (something she had not done while we had been living together) since I left for Puerto Rico. My landlord advised if I could have my friend (and her roommate) removed from the premises before the end of the month, and if the damages to the apartment were not extensive, she would consider giving me back my deposit. However she warned the last day of that month my lease with them would effectively be terminated.

I did get my ex-friend out of my apartment, and cleaned and fixed any damages made by her and her friends in time to receive my deposit back. However I felt I lost so much more in the process. I lost a great apt. in Manhattan, and a person who I had thought of as a friend.
 
For a while I was very angry and very distrustful of anyone.  Now though looking back, I realized that trust was not the issue, prudence was.  In retrospect I now see many warning signs about my ex-friend, and her promise, to as she called it “Hold down the fort” that should have made me very suspicious, and look deeper at her motives.   This was a hard lesson, but one that has made me a stronger person.

Picture created by Windtee

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Lesson 9 – Never Lose Faith (Even when things get tough)

Back in my early 20’s I had been laid off. The news could not have hit me at a worse time. I had just signed a lease to a wonderful apartment in the upper east side of Manhattan (rent controlled no less).  It was a small one bedroom for an incredible price. Of course the realty company took me to the cleaner requesting some 3 months’ rent as their commission. Well, with the awesome location I was more than happy to pay their price, and thanks to a loan my Mom gave me I was able to secure the apartment, before someone else snatched it up.

Unfortunately y only a couple short months after moving in to my new rad apt., I was out of a job.  I had only one month’s extra rent saved in my bank (thank God), but other than that, I had no extra savings or income. I promptly filed for unemployment, and a month later was informed, that I would receive approximately $54.00 a week.

What??  That would barely just cover my food expenses for the month. Wow, I was completely stressed, but I knew I had to find some extra income fast to cover my rent and expenses.  I decided to post an ad to sub-lease my apartment for at least one month. I figured I’d stay with one of my friend’s for the month and sleep on their couch or something, and during the day, hit the pavement looking for work.  In less than a couple days I found a suitable person to sub-lease my apt. (unfortunately I hadn’t included electric and gas into our lease together; so I ended up paying a high then usual gas and electric bill. A lesson I only realized too late).

I moved in with a close friend, and to make my time with her less burdensome (she was a single mother of two), I babysat her children when possible and cooked for the entire family each evening.  I then worked during the day as a full time job seeker.  Applying, calling, writing and going on at least a minimum of 3 interviews per day.  Within a couple weeks and many rejections, I quickly became very frustrated.

I consider myself to have a strong faith in God, and when in a particular jam, I’ll usually just pray to God and say something to the effect: “Well, God, you know me better than anyone (including myself), and you know what I’m going through and what my needs are, and I know that you will provide all that I need, Thank you God!”  I have never felt comfortable praying for a particular thing or result; I just figured that would be rather arrogant, as who would know better what I need than God.

So at this time I said just such a prayer.  I’d do my part and work as diligently as I could to look for work, and God would take care of the rest.  Of course I certainly had times of doubt, but I routinely pushed all those thoughts out of my head when they popped up. About month or so of unemployment, I had received and spent my entire unemployment check on food.  When one day I had a strong urge to go to my bank and check my account. I argued with myself for awhile, saying there is nothing in there, so why go to the bank?  After going back and forth a bit, I decided perhaps there were a couple bucks left in there that I had forgotten about, and maybe I should just go and check it out.

So off I went to the bank, and when I asked for my available balance, I almost fainted it came to the exact amount I was short to cover my bills for that month. My logical mind, tried to explain the fact away saying it was just a bank error, and the bank would shortly come to the conclusion of their error and take back the money.  But deep down, I knew this was not what had happened; God had sent me this money. I quickly said a prayer of Thanks to God, and promptly went home and wrote checks for all my bills.

Then for the next 5 months I paid all my bills, and took whatever money I needed from the ATM machine.  I never once looked at my account balance.  Now mind you, I was still only receiving a $54.00 dollar check from unemployment each month, and no other income (this was before the days of overdraft as well).  I just paid what I had to, and said a prayer of Thanks to God.  When the 6th month of unemployment hit, an odd thing started to occur.  Everyone around me, started to feed me fear. My friends, family, and acquaintances, all grilled me, asking how I was living with no income coming in. (I hadn’t wanted to tell anyone about my miracle at the time, thinking that I might jinx things if I did).  As all their worries and fears started to seep into my mind, I started to doubt whether God would continue to help me out.  What if he decides to stop helping me, I thought?

On a day where my fear seemed at its height, I went to my bank to withdraw some funds for groceries, and low and behold, my account was empty.  I immediately realized that it was my loss of faith, that God would be there and take care of me that caused my bank account to go to zero.  I immediately begged for forgiveness asked that all go back to the way it had been; alas things did not change.

For several weeks I was torn apart, and extremely stressed. Attempting to find a solution myself to get out of this mess.  I continued to go on even more interviews and work ever harder than before looking for work; to no avail.  It was then, one afternoon, when my best friend Janel treat me to lunch, that I told her, “As of this moment I’m surrendering all my problems to God.  I’m going to stop trying to handle everything by myself.”  I felt as if a huge burden had been lifted from me, and immediately felt at peace and joy.  Within the week, I received a job offer, for more money than I was asking at the time, and for one of the best companies I have had the pleasure to work for.  THANK YOU GOD!!!

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Manna from Heaven

Lesson 8 – Be prepared

Back in my late 20’s I was finding life rather dull, and decided upon a way to spice it up; I would move to a Spanish speaking country for a year. I would live, and work completely in Spanish. Mind you, at the time my Spanish was and still is rudimentary, but I thought, no problem I can do it.  So with a $1,500.00 saved up, I gave notice at my current position at the time.

This was one of the best companies I have ever had the pleasure of working with. It had a real family feel, and everyone including my boss and the president of the company were supportive and happy for me in my new adventure.  My last day at the company my boss took us all out for lunch and the president arranged for a breakfast in my honor, so everyone could wish me well and say good bye (this company was very small; under 50 people). Oh, I forgot to mention, what place I decided to move to.  I choose to go to Puerto Rico. At first I thought I’d move to Seville Spain for a year, but when I checked out the prices, I decided P.R. would be the best bet.  I’d traveled to Puerto Rico some 5 time prior on vacation and had friends with family there that I could contact in case of an emergency.

Before I arrived in Puerto Rico I attempted to set up a bunch of interviews, but this seemed near impossible, as all the places I called requested that I have a Puerto Rican address and phone number.  I decided to just book my flight and hotel, and felt quite confident that I could secure a position before my funds ran out.

I landed in San Juan Airport at 1pm on Friday afternoon; I immediately took a cab to my hotel (booked the cheapest room I could find for $75 a night), and then headed out to the nearest bodega to get a newspaper (‘El Nuevo Dia’ the NY Times of P.R).  I realized if all the positions wanted me to have a P.R. address and phone number I first had to secure a place to live and then get a phone number.  So the first thing I did was look in El Nuevo Dia’s classifies for some apartments for rent.  That very afternoon I went to look at three apts.  The last one was a winner.  I found a very nice studio apartment in San Juan. It had a family feel to the neighborhood (a lot of little kids and toddles playing in the street) for only $275.00 per month.  I immediately signed the contract and gave my deposit.  The landlord advised that they would have to check my references and credit and would call me in a couple days.

The then next morning I headed off to Telefónica de Puerto Rico (P.R.’s Telephone company). Luckily before I moved, my mother gave me an old cell phone.  I took the cell phone to the phone company and they promptly set me up with service and a 787 phone number (PR area code).  I then took my resume to the lobby of the hotel I was staying at and asked if they could send a couple of faxes for me.  They were gracious enough to send out several faxes to a couple of possible positions for me.

The following day the landlord at the place I had checked out earlier in the week called and gave me the green light to move in. That day I checked out of the hotel I was staying at, and put my merger things into a cab, and headed off to my new apartment.  Once all my baggage was dropped off. I headed to ‘Plaza Las Américas’ (the biggest mall in San Juan), to get some essentials, such as an air mattress, some sheets and towels and such.  After getting back I spend the rest of the evening unpacking and cleaning my new space.

Two days later a call came in for a job interview for a small motel in the Isla Verde area in San Juan.  I went to the interview, and within a couple of minutes realized that the controller of this establishment was from Queens NY.  We had quick and easy banter together, and within less than a half hour I had a job offer for $8 dollars an hour; which by the way is awesome money for PR (My friend who was working in PR only made $6 dollars an hour w/ a masters degree in accounting).  I was so excited, I immediately called my old job in NYC, and got all my old co-workers including my old boss on the phone, and told them the good news.  They were all so happy for me. I then took myself for a celebratory dinner at Denny’s (One of my favorite suburban restaurant, which I ate at often while growing up in Virginia).

Well, things seemed to be off to a great start in my new life in PR, until three weeks later I was let go from my new job. It should not have been a complete surprise however, as two days prior to being let go (pay day). The controller and owner of the hotel (a prejudice, mean spirited southerner from Alabama), were yelling in the hallway outside our offices. He was telling the controller that there was no way in hell that he was going to pay me $8.00 an hour, when he was paying everyone else $4 an hour.   Two days later on a Sunday evening, one of my co-workers from the hotel showed up on my doorstep with my belongings, my final check (of which was  short $250.00), and a letter saying I was being let go because I could not perform the job I was hired to do.

I knew this was not the truth, as two days prior to the yelling in the hallway (between the owner and controller); the controller had taken me out to dinner in Viejo San Juan as a welcome to the position, and Thank you for all my hard work.  Nevertheless, here I was three weeks in to my new life here, without a job. I had already spent the entire $1,500.00 I had come with, and the hotel’s final check was only around $300.00 dollars. To say I was stressed was a mild understatement. The rent for my new apartment was due soon, and was $275.00. That pretty much left me with $25 for all other essentials (including food).

 In the end all did not work out the way I had hoped, and I was forced to come back to NYC on Labor Day weekend 1999. I was depressed for weeks that I did not accomplish what I set out to do.  I did learn however that one of the biggest reasons things did not work out for me in PR, was that I did not plan appropriately.  I had been doing light research before I moved, but   in the end; I had really not had a clear plan of action on how I would accomplish my goals. I moved spontaneously and quickly; all because I was bored with my life and unfulfilled.  I learned many lessons in my two and a half months living in Puerto Rico (many of which I will share in future posts), however I could have spared myself much heartache and pain had I been more prepared.

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Lesson 7 - Success Can Never Be Accomplished Alone.

I once had quite a disappointing experience at work.  I had always prided myself with working to my fullest potential, and giving my 100 percent effort at all times.  One of my ex-bosses once remarked that I should lighten up, “I behave as if I own the company” he stated.   Well, for me this is the way all employees should be. A company hires you for a service, and I believe you should provide the best possible service you can provide.

Image my surprise then, when I was hired into a new position at a company I was very excited to be working with, when within several months of starting work with there, I was invited in for my first (and I hope last) write up.  My manager informed me while they had no complaints about my work ethics; they stated that I was not working well with my co-workers.  This was news to me, as I never spoke to any of them.  I came in well before all my co-workers (& my boss for that matter), and stayed late most nights.

Well, that seemed to be the exact problem my boss stated, I never said so much as a hello to anyone, just, worked, worked, and worked.  My co-workers seemed to be under the impression that I thought I was better or above them.  This totally shocked me, as I really did not have an opinion of any of my co-workers.  I was so thoroughly absorbed in my work and getting the job done as well as I could, that I frankly paid little attention to anyone

My boss then gave me some advice; he said he saw me as a diamond in the rough, and having the potential to one day to be a great leader.  However, he cautioned you cannot forget that you cannot get there alone.  You need people.  He further advised that I take some time each morning to get up, and go around the office and say some quick hellos. Now he said: “Not that I want you talking all day at the water cooler, but just get to know your co-workers, perhaps even go to lunch with some of them occasionally”.

As embarrassing as the write up had been, I promptly took his advice, and the very next day, made a point to say hello to everyone in my department.  At first I was met with some strange stares as some wondered why I was talking to them, since I had never spoken to them in the past.  Well, I’m happy to report, that within 3 short months I had built some wonderful friendships. I earned the respect of all my co-works, and supervisors.  The best part, is work became a lot more enjoyable, and easier, now that I knew I did not have to handle it all myself.

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