Lesson 12 –Make Yourself Indispensable at Work

In this day and age when jobs are scarce, probably the most important thing you can do to protect your employment is to make yourself indispensable. I learned this lesson long ago. Growing up with two parents that had a very strong work ethic, is most likely what instilled this lesson in me so early.  One of my earliest jobs was working with a small fashion company.

 During the interview, the CFO informed me that the company had just recently entered the computer age, and their account department was now all learning to use computers and a new accounting software program for the first time. He asked if I had any knowledge of computers. Well, I completely lied as I really needed the job. I did get the job a couple days later and for a little more money than I had asked for.  I then made it a point to learn everything I could about computers and in particular the software program that the CFO had mentioned during our interview.

I devoured every manual and book I could find on the subject, and when I started working with this new company, I stayed late each evening, as I studied the workings of my specific department.  Within 6 months of working with this new company I became the expert on their accounting software. Every new hire was sent to me for a couple days of training (including the new computer technician that was also just hired).

The reason I mention all this, is not to simply sing my praises on what a marvelous employee I’m, but to make a point.  Some 6 months after I had started with this new company, they went through a tough patch financially, and were forced to fire more than half their present staff at the time. Some whom had been with the company for more than 20 years and were close to retirement were given a package to retire early. Many others were simply let go. I was quite shocked at first, when I was not one of the personnel fired. I now know why, I had made myself indispensable. I had something this company really needed; a skill set for which at the time I was the only one within the company with this expertise and crucial knowledge.

The lesson being, always make yourself indispensable at work, and keep learning new things, new skills, and new knowledge, no matter what rank you reach in your present employment.

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Lesson 11- Tell the Truth 1st to Yourself

We’ve all be taught lying is bad, and we should not do it. However, we would all be lying if we said all of us have not, at one time or another, lied to get out of a sticky situation, by telling a friend what he or she wants to hear, to make them feel better, or telling a white lie to spare someone’s feelings. We may even fudge the truth to not deal with some uncomfortable feelings ourselves.

What I’ve come to realize about all lying for the most part, is we first lie to ourselves. To make it okay for us to lie, we rationalize to ourselves how the particular lie is either necessary, or if we tell ourselves a really good story, we actually convince ourselves our lie is actually the truth.

This last bit I can clearly relate to. For some many years, I’ve had trouble with my spending tendencies, and had finally after many years of friends trying to bring the problem to my attention; I finally faced facts I was indeed a shopaholic. For more years than I can remember, if I had a bad day, or felt under the weather I’d self gratify by buying a little something. Depending on my finances at the time, it may be as little as a hair trinket, to several new outfits.

What was clearly the same each time, how I convinced myself, I absolutely needed whatever it was I was buying, as if my very life depended on me buying this thing. I would thoroughly convince myself into this lie, there was little anyone could do at the time to persuade me otherwise.

These specific lies, with regards to my spending habits, finally came crashing down on me some two years back. When my on-again off-again boyfriend and I had broken up for the second time, my life and my spending went into a downward spiral. I had so completely wrapped myself in this relationship, and basically made it the center of my universe. When it ended, I did what I always did when I was depressed, I went on a shopping spree; actually I went on several shopping sprees till I nearly maxed out every credit card I owned.

It started with me saying, "I just need to spruce things up a bit in my apartment and make the space more ‘me’". So I started with buying a new couch, and chair, which in turn ended up being all new furniture, new silverware, new flatware, new clothes, new curtains (3 new shower curtains to be exact), new toilet seat, new carpet (bathroom and living room), new sheets, and towels, you name it, I got rid of the old and got new ones.

Some of my friends actually went along with my lie at the time, and said it was healthy I was getting rid of all stuff  I shared with my ex-boyfriend, but some 6 months later the truth came crashing in. My two oldest and dearest friends said they needed to talk. When they first approached me and said they believed I had a problem with my spending, I was of course totally skeptical. Until they talked me into going over all my credit card and bill statements with them, and itemized everything onto a spreadsheet. I was firmly sure my debt at the time was no more than 12K max. When all was said and done, the full total after our plugging the numbers was 26 thousand in debt, I nearly fainted.

I could not believe I would be in this much debt and not know it. I’ve since come to terms with my weakness for spending and shopping, and have made a point to stay clear of any shopping or clothing stores when I’m feeling down. I cut up all my credit cards two years ago, and have focused on paying off this debt. My biggest lesson in all of this was how easy it is for all of us to lie first to ourselves when faced with a problem we do not want to accept or acknowledge.

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Lesson 10 –Trust with Prudence

While living in Manhattan I had decided to take on a close friend as a roommate in hopes of saving some money. While this person wasn’t the closest of my friends, we had known each other for years and I anticipated no problems with us living together.  The first two years living together went quite smoothly.  We both respected each other’s space, and seemed to live harmoniously together; until my move to Puerto Rico. 

You may remember from a couple of lessons back, my plan to study and live in a Spanish speaking couture for minimum of one year. I choose to move to Puerto Rico.

My friend had been extremely supportive of my plans to move to P.R. for the year to study and live a life submerged in the Spanish culture.  She advised that she would hold down the fort here in NY while I tried out things in P.R.  She convinced me, that a friend of hers that was moving to the States from abroad could room with her in my apartment, and pay my half of the rent. She surmised that this would save me even more money toward my move, and that if all did not work out in Puerto Rico, I could just come back to NY. 

I was completely grateful for all my friend’s support and help.  So as the move got closer, I worked on sorting out all the last minute details here.  On the day of the move my friend came with me to the airport and saw me off, assuring me she would take care of all business here (including caring for my cat, and paying all bills). 
After a couple weeks on the Island, and having set myself up in a nice apartment in the San Juan area, I received a rather disturbing call one afternoon from the landlord of my Manhattan apartment.  She informed me that about two weeks prior she had received a call and a letter from my roommate informing her that I had vacated the apartment. My roommate went on to say that she is now the new tenant of the apartment, and demanded that my landlord, send her a new lease in her name. 

I was completely shocked. My landlord went on to say that my friend had been trashing the apartment, and had had loud noisy parties on several occasions (something she had not done while we had been living together) since I left for Puerto Rico. My landlord advised if I could have my friend (and her roommate) removed from the premises before the end of the month, and if the damages to the apartment were not extensive, she would consider giving me back my deposit. However she warned the last day of that month my lease with them would effectively be terminated.

I did get my ex-friend out of my apartment, and cleaned and fixed any damages made by her and her friends in time to receive my deposit back. However I felt I lost so much more in the process. I lost a great apt. in Manhattan, and a person who I had thought of as a friend.
 
For a while I was very angry and very distrustful of anyone.  Now though looking back, I realized that trust was not the issue, prudence was.  In retrospect I now see many warning signs about my ex-friend, and her promise, to as she called it “Hold down the fort” that should have made me very suspicious, and look deeper at her motives.   This was a hard lesson, but one that has made me a stronger person.

Picture created by Windtee

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